Such a Pretty Picture: A Memoir

Such a Pretty Picture by Andrea Leeb is a memoir about surviving childhood sexual abuse. The book starts with this awful scene from 1962, where four-year-old Andrea's dad sexually abuses her during a bath. Her mom walks in, sees what's happening, and immediately goes blind from shock. They call it "hysterical blindness" and it lasts for months.

After that, everything falls apart. Her dad keeps abusing her and tells her it's her fault. He says she has to keep their "secret forever" if she wants her mom to get better. Her mom gets her sight back but becomes cold and distant toward Andrea. So you've got this messed up family where the kid who got hurt is the one getting blamed.

The book follows Andrea through years of struggling with the trauma. She deals with eating disorders, cuts herself, has bad relationships, and gets into drugs and alcohol. She does manage to become a nurse and then a lawyer, but the damage remains. Finally, in her thirties, she goes to this trauma recovery program and starts actually dealing with what happened to her.

The writing really captures what it feels like to be a little kid who has no idea what's going on. And it shows how this stuff doesn't just hurt the kid - it ruins the whole family. All that keeping quiet and acting like nothing's wrong ends up being almost as damaging as the abuse itself.

The book ends on a hopeful note though. Andrea does eventually find someone who loves her and manages to build a decent life. So I guess there's some hope even after going through something that awful.